Have you reached a stalemate trying to resolve difficulties in your relationship and cannot seem to find a way forward together? Maybe you are struggling to communicate, or find conversations dissolve into rows readily. Maybe your relationship feels stale or you have big issues such as infidelity, sex, money, children, in-laws etc.
Considering couples counselling shows you still care, but it can be daunting. Exposing your difficulties in front of a stranger let alone your partner, who can and might readily disagree with your point of view, can be discouraging.
Many people in relationships refrain from speaking out about what is happening for them because they don’t want to hurt their partner, and many couples fear what they have to say will make a bad situation worse.
When couples get over these barriers and start couples counselling, they often feel an immediate sense of relief. You are finally doing something about the difficulties and are both in it together, which reinforces you both care.
Although you might have an idea your counsellor will be impartial there can often be a sense of fear they will side with your partner. Very quickly you will realise this is not the case as the focus is on your relationship and you will both receive equal time, attention and understanding without judgment.
The initial session will encourage you to talk about what has brought you to couples counselling and why now when you might have been struggling with difficulties over a long time. It will provide time for both your points of views to be heard. A picture of your overall relationship will start to emerge, what you were first attracted to in each other may be discussed and what you would like to achieve in couples counselling will start to become clear.
As the sessions progress the goals set by you both will be worked towards. What happens in the week between the sessions will be reviewed and discussed. Any difficulties with communication or conflict will be talked about to give greater understanding of what is happening in the relationship, and help and support is provided to allow you both to be more emotionally honest with each other and be able to engage with the really difficult bits.
Over time you will notice you are ready to leave counselling, your communication will have improved and your goals may have been completely reached or you are ready to continue with the work yourselves. Most people leave realising they have learnt a lot about their partner, their relationship and themselves.
Contact Lisa for an initial consultation, and to look at these areas, or other worries you have in your relationship.
